Prideful is as Prideful Does

I didn’t grow up learning what the word “prideful” met, but I sure heard it a lot in Ocala. People didn’t want to be prideful. It was a bad thing. It was also a thing that nobody in the know wanted to define for me, and you can’t just go to dictionary.com and get the big picture of this concept. 

Dictionary.com defines prideful as: “a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether ascherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.”

How you come about seeming prideful, though, is another thing.

You can be seen as prideful by stating that you have extensive experience or knowledge of a subject.  You can be prideful by thinking well of yourself, even when everyone else in town doesn’t like you. You can be prideful by having a successful career or business.  

Monitoring one’s pridefulness seems contrary to the natural tendency of some to achieve their personal best. I wonder what Jesus would think about that.  

My boyfriend, who grew up in the deep south and is now in recovery out West, explained some of this to me. According to him, it’s a fine line to walk. On the one hand, Southerners think that you are being punished by God if you don’t have enough money; but if you have more than enough and enjoy your life, you are prideful, and God will probably punish you for that too.  If something bad happens to a person who is seen as prideful, well, they had it coming. 

When I received high marks in elementary school for taking pride in my work, I was, well, proud. I thought it was a good thing. I thought that maintaining a clean home and vehicle and self was normal, but maybe some think I’m showing off. I don’t know. It does shed some light on why I didn’t fit in there in Ocala, and I’ve got to say, I’m still perplexed by what prideful means.  And completely amazed that people go around using it as a measuring stick to judge others. Doesn’t the bible say, “Judge not, lest ye be judged?” 

The stories just keep coming

Having escaped the fray of Ocala, I still hear stories… 

Someone I know who used to do some really risky illegal behaviors posted on Facebook that someone she knew and was no longer friends with had engaged in some other type of illegal behavior recently and got busted. You can see mug shots of all the recently arrested locals at this website: 

http://mugshotsocala.com/

Pot, have you met Kettle?

I should also mention that a young guy I know who used to use cocaine regularly is now training to be a police officer in Ocala. Yep.

Ah, whatever, people.

V

Me too

I’m selling my house, too. The statistics say, houses are selling at the highest rate in 6 years! Of course, they are selling at a high rate because they are so cheap. Even so, my best-earning years are ahead of me, and I’ve got to get out of here. Not to mention, I’d love a date.

I’ve dated a bit in Gainesville, but everyone I know who’s childless doesn’t stay there. They work somewhere for a while and then move to do something different. All of the guys I’ve dated have done that, with the exception of one who can’t take care of himself and who was looking for a meal ticket. (Not it!)

I am also tired of being cold. Yes, this bird needs to fly south, or at least out to the Gulf or the Atlantic!

B, I agree, 2013 will be great. Someone told me that 2012 would be difficult, but it would get me where I needed to be. So it has (so far!)

-V

One last adventure

You didn’t think I’d leave town without a proper sendoff, did you?
I’m going to be transferred to another part of Florida with my job, but there’s been a delay. My house sold quickly, so I looked for somewhere else to live.

I took a chance on a barn apartment that was really cute, but in need of repair. I told the person managing the property that I was interested, and that I’d need to move in after the closing in a month’s time.

The property was shut up and not repaired in that time. However, they did bomb it for bugs, which caused everything within a 50-foot radius to crawl in, poop its guts out, and die.

No follow-up cleaning or preparation was done. I showed up and opened the door to a room of dead bugs and reptiles. There were 3 huge roaches and a lot of debris on the bed I was supposed to sleep on.

Ahhhh…. I am not sure where the breakdown occurred. I got my money back and moved in temporarily with coworkers near my current workplace. Thank goodness they had a spare room!

I’m sorry, North Central Florida. I tried. I bought a new house and lost $100,000 on it, but at least it was clean. Then I tried to rent something and….

Maybe I’m just too high-maintenance for this area. I mean, really, who do I think I am? What is up with this?

Anyway, I’ve sprung the trap, and await my orders to relocate. I think 2013 will be a great year. Best wishes to all of you.

-B

Preparing for liftoff

Despite the various problems and issues I’ve encountered this year, I am listing my house for sale! Yes, it is time to move on.  I can’t let one bad investment hamper the next stage of my career development.

I am excited to have new adventures and live somewhere else.  For me, this has been nothing but a heartbreak town.  Square people in a world that’s round…

-B

Social Anxiety Disorder, Anyone?

When I moved to Ocala, I thought the people here were dull and depressed. I couldn’t get a group together to go out or get together at my place to save my life. I tried to be a “cheerleader” for a while, call people to get them to go out, and so on. Then, I had a half-dozen falling outs with so-called friends.

This made me give up the Improv shows, which were my only social outlet locally. One of the women who worked the door of those events got really unpleasant with me and I didn’t want to deal with her again. I must have stayed away for a year or two. I don’t even remember; it was long enough to forget all about her, and for me that takes a while. I went to some Emerging Leaders of Ocala events and got sent away with a flea in my ear; people didn’t want to be my friend, clearly.  I stopped going to those too, and didn’t renew… didn’t even tell them the real reason why I wasn’t renewing, except for on this blog. I got 100 hits in a few days back in 2008- a proud time for me.  It was the only way my voice would ever be heard. If I’d dared complain, I would have been dismissed as some angry city-slicker bitch.

Long story short, I’ve been alone for most of the time I’ve been here.  I tried to date a few guys, but that never worked. I had a roommate for a while who turned into a really unpleasant person who bitched and complained incessantly. She moved out. I dealt with a major illness, and in fact still manage it.  I am at the point where I am overwhelmed. No matter what, I am overwhelmed. I want to leave but don’t have gainful employment elsewhere. Just the search, plus working full-time, is exhausting, and of course you have to figure in my long commute.  I feel dull and depressed, just like the people I criticized when I moved here. Where is the fun?

So tonight, I thought (briefly) about going to the HOA meeting. I own a townhouse in Fore Ranch and we’ve had a sinkhole problem.  Given, it happened after it poured down rain for at least 2 days during Tropical Storm Debbie, and these aren’t normal conditions; but even so, the sinkholes were stabilized but the cleanup wasn’t done because they need more money.  It’s not the builder’s fault of course- they got out of here years ago and left the HOA holding the bag.  I’ll never buy another home like this and I’m sorry I bought this one.  Every time I check the value of my place, it’s down $10,000 from where it was. I wish I’d sold a long time ago.

But the reasons I’m not at this meeting are as follows:

I feel so tired, due to my medical condition, that it would just make me cry.

I didn’t get home until 6:30 tonight and needed dinner.

Creepy married neighbor would probably be there. He’d probably stare at my body and gawk, or maybe act penitent but then tell me that I misconstrued his flirty emails.  What an a-hole. I have no patience for flirty married men. Lay off, dudes, will you?

My pets were hungry, and waiting at home for me.

But an interesting thing happened when I was down at the meeting place. I saw a good-looking man, and he checked me out too. I didn’t have time to look for a ring but it didn’t seem like he’d have one.  I think back to the days when I was willing to get out of the house, walk around the neighborhood, and interact with people, before I’d been scared off by so many interactions with a-holes.  Would I have liked that guy? Would he have asked me out?

It’s all theoretical because I’m seeing someone. True, he lives far away, and I only get to go on a weekend full of dates once in a while, but hey! It’s someone I can trust! Someone who is compassionate about my health condition! Someone who is close to my age and HAS A JOB! I stopped looking for someone to date here, just like I stopped making an effort to be social, after I reached the tipping point. It’s just not worth the energy expended, and it leads to stressful situations.

So, is this just me? Have I lost my mind? Or is this logical?

-V

Imported talent

I have a new beau. It’s really taken the edge off my frustration at my housing situation and other things that haven’t gone as I’d hoped here. Sure, he lives far away, but he exists.  And that is SOOOOO comforting to know, that there are cool people out there, that I can find someone who doesn’t suck on tobacco or would be attractive if he lost 100 pounds.

Ahhhh, I am relaxed and happy for once.

-V

The flip side: meeting a man who’s been “dating” a married woman for a decade

I went to a barbecue a few weeks ago and another acquaintance of mine, who is an accomplished, kind woman who’s lost about $100k on a “real estate investment” in a “master planned community” like myself (mine is for sale, while her sale is done). She’s never been married and is over 40 years old.

Throughout the sale of her home, which required mold remediation because the builder was too cheap to install and intact flange around a toilet in the unit above hers, she worked with a real estate agent who wanted her (my acquaintance) to meet her brother, who is single and living in the area.

They met at a restaurant called Stumpknockers, which right away tells me that he’s either clueless or has no taste.  But putting that aside, in the course of getting to know her, he blurted out, “I’ve been dating a married woman for the past 9 years. She is a doctor, her husband is a doctor, and they both go out with other people.”

Really?

The poor woman told me, “I don’t think I’ve been waiting all my life for this.” I am sure you have to give up a lot of romantic dreams over the years, but I don’t think you have to give up THAT much. 

She tried to give him a chance but then admitted to getting him to help her repaint her closet after the mold remediation and got him to do a few other chores around her house.  We all laughed about that. But she just can’t take him seriously, and I can see why.

We’ve all turned to long-distance dating or just going to work and having a life without worrying about where the next date will come from. I mean, really, people. 

“…And this is my BOYFRIEND!!!”

I met a friend of a friend a few weeks ago. She was a vibrant, bubbly woman who seemed like a really genuine person.  I liked her immediately, and her name sounded familiar. It turned out that she’d known some mutual friends for a long time and I’m sure I’ve heard her mentioned before.

When she arrived at the gathering (a house party- as I’ve explained, I don’t go out in Ocala anymore in an effort to avoid drink doping, overly solicitous married men, and so forth) she came with her kids and a man.  A man!

She lives in a large city now, where things like dating people your own age is a reality for someone like her. He happened to be someone she knew before her time in Ocala, and I enjoyed speaking with him. He also seemed like a genuinely nice and sincere person.

So when she introduced him, it was as if she was announcing something she’d never announced before: “This is my BOYFRIEND!”

My friend explained that she’d gone through a divorce in Ocala and then dated a few married guys.  Why? I asked.  Well, because she got lonely, my friend answered.

I don’t agree with what she did, but then again, it wasn’t my choice to make.  I do understand, however, that ignoring married guys in a town like this cuts down your dating options by a lot.

Still, I’d rather be alone than share a man with his wife. What do you think?

Cheap, cheap, cheap

Sometimes I wonder about the way American businesses are programmed to be. I mean, businesses seek to squeeze out the maximum output from their workers and their products, but the costs are just too great sometimes.  

Whatever happened to quality? Taking pride in one’s work and one’s product? What the hell is wrong with General Electric?

I bought a house with GE appliances in it.  All I can say is, never again.  The microwave touchpad fell apart, luckily while it was under warrantee. The freezer stopped making ice right after the warrantee expired and I used ice trays for 2 years until the company decided to subsidize the $400 part since it clearly didn’t work on those models.  Still, that repair cost me almost $200 and the cost of my time, sitting around my house, not able to go out because what if the repairman comes? 

Lately, there is a dishwasher recall.  Seriously, did GE take all of its crappiest models and sell them to the master planned communities in Central Florida? They are so kind as to give you a discount on buying a new model… or you can book one of their guys to come out and make the repair on your existing model.  So guess who’s stuck at home next Saturday? That would be me. Waiting for these people to get their shit together and fix something that should work just fine in the first place. 

I’ll never forget this one day. I was home sick and totally annoyed with life, basically. Then, throughout the day, I started hearing those annoying beeps from the smoke detectors.  Really. They couldn’t even splurge on getting a long-lasting battery for those damn things; the ones that came with this “new house”  lasted a year from the time they built this place. Luckily, I had good neighbors at the time who had a ladder. The husband changed them all out for me.  I’d stocked up on batteries and gave him all my extras.  I knew it wouldn’t be too long before they’d be having the same issue and wanted them to be prepared. 

But seriously, do corporations think about doing the considerate thing? Do home builders have any conscience at all about building in areas with high instances of sinkholes? Don’t they know that their customers inherit these problems? Don’t they know that that taints their reputations? 

It was insulting enough to lose half the value of my house without having shitty appliances and sinkholes.  I wish the buyer of my house good luck.  At least they’ll be getting a HUGE discount over what I paid. That should free up some money for appliance repairs.